I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
i will never coherently bang her
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
