He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize