You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
