Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
