I wanna passion pit in your ass
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
