I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
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