I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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