Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
