Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
