Can Purell be used as lube?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
