New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
