Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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