hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
