Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
