I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
high people should be assigned attendants
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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