She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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