It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
If I die, sorry about rent.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
