I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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