Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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