so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
