I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
