I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
