I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
