He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
