At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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