my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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