A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
