guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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