God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
