Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
