Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
