The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
