What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
