just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
