Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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