Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
