chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Shame - the story of my life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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