Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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