did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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