My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
