Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
