I think I just saw someone hide a body.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
