she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
