You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
