Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
