you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
