Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
