yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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