im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I will be naked everywhere
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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