This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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